In John 6:35 Jesus declares, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” At first it seems a bit silly to think that Jesus would compare Himself to bread or any kind of food. However, bread is a food staple without which it would be difficult to receive full nourishment. This was especially true in biblical times, since they had much fewer food options than we do today.
Without daily bread the people would have become very hungry. Bread filled their stomachs and kept them alive until the next time they needed to eat. By contrast, Jesus told the people He is the bread of life, who would always satisfy the needs of their souls. He was trying to help them understand that He, the living God, is all they need.
When I feel depressed, I am more likely not to eat at all than to overeat. This (along with playing soccer) thankfully prevented me from gaining too much weight during the emotional turmoil of my limerence. Unfortunately, in the spiritual sense, I similarly did not always “eat” enough of the Word of God. (Deuteronomy 8:3, Matthew 4:4) I had little “snacks” and “desserts” here and there, like Romans 8:28, John 16:24 and Hebrews 13:5. But I neglected to immerse myself in full “meals” when I most needed it to fill me.
Author’s Note: The paragraph above borrows concepts of comparisons between food and God’s Word from The 40-Day Sugar Fast by Wendy Speake. Wendy hosts sugar fasts in January-February each year at wendyspeake.com.
Incomplete to the Core
As my limerence intensified, my main life anthem was “Incomplete” by the Backstreet Boys. A nagging feeling of discontentment had grown into the sharp pang of broken dreams, reaching the core of my heart. It felt like nothing other than the love of my limerence object could make me truly, lastingly happy again. Without the one I considered my soulmate (if I ever had one) I could never be complete.
To be perfectly honest, I didn’t want anything else to be able to make me happier than he would have. My life revolved around him and I didn’t know how to live any other way. He was absolutely everything to me – I even formed special acronyms to that effect with the initials of his name. When disappointments came, fantasizing of being with him brightened my day again. A simple hello from him lifted my heart to the sky. At least that was true until the reality of things popped my fantasy bubble beyond human repair.
Little by little, God showed me how to live without him. No doubt whatsoever, it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Still, I learned to love and trust God more than I loved him. The Lord kept me close through prayer and Bible study, both individually and in group settings. Without the light of His Word and His faithful servants encouraging me to press on, the darkness may have overtaken me indeed. (Psalm 119:105)
Reformed in the Refining Fire
By denying me the one thing I wanted most, God had placed me in the refining fire. My brokenness gave God an opportunity to put my heart back together with a deeper dependency on Him. Without hope of being with the one I loved, there was nowhere else to turn. I needed constancy, stability, strength, peace, assurance, and unshakable love.
All of these my friends would have been willing to pray for God to give me if they knew what I was experiencing. But none of them would have been able to actually provide them for me to the extent I needed them.
God could and did provide these things. As I ran to Him, He began to heal me from wounds I should have allowed Him to touch years before. His presence, power and goodness reminded me that everything would be better than okay. I was burned to what felt like ashes, but He used the pain to inspire beauty and creativity. He reformed those ashes into a stronger, more faithful soul in ways I never would have imagined. (Isaiah 61:3)
“Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised. He is to be feared above all gods,” for He has done great things. (Psalm 96:4) In the absence of a romantic relationship, I received the honor of being part of the bride of Christ. Instead of the “heaven” of looking into my limerence object’s eyes, Jesus is preparing a place for me in the real Heaven.
All who trust in Him can have full assurance of His love and compassion while in the refining fire just as much as they do in the green pastures. (Daniel 3:25)
A Promise Made: Our Portion Forever
We easily forget God truly is all we need when we are unable to get what we want. Acknowledging God’s faithfulness and love, King David writes in Psalm 73:25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
This is the right perspective when things don’t go the way we hoped. Our fears and wounds may paralyze us, preventing us from being effective in any capacity – ministry, business, family, or otherwise. In the midst of this, God’s strength works in us from the inside and overflows from our hearts. He alone is able to comfort us with the knowledge that He has wonderful plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11). Only His peace calms the storm that would otherwise destroy everything in a moment of insanity. (Mark 4:35-41)
It stings for this moment and maybe the next several moments, but it will be over soon. Before we know it, we will look back and thank Him for sustaining us and for growing us through the experience. As a bonus, we can thank Him that we never have to live through it again! And even if we did, it would not be so difficult the next time because we have seen God lead us out of it. In collective trust, let us join David in proclaiming this truth. “God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
The Promise Kept: Sufficient Grace
What an amazing God we serve! He gives us both the strength we need each day and abounding grace for the next time we fail. Our weakness tempts us to give up and let ourselves go back to the enslavement of limerence. But His kindness to us despite repeated failures leads us back to repentance (Romans 2:4).
The apostle Paul asked God to remove the “thorn” in his side. While we do not know exactly what this “thorn” was, we know Paul asked multiple times for God to take it from him. (2 Corinthians 12) Similarly, chances are we have asked God that He would grant us reciprocation for our limerence, as soon as possible. From our standpoint, doing so would take away much pain and suffering.
In His mercy, He has said no. Though He may choose to reveal the reason in time, we may never know why. Nonetheless, we hold on to His words, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) His power in us makes it possible to press on toward the prize of being in our Savior’s presence someday. (Hebrews 12:2) For we know nothing is better and more fulfilling than He is. (Psalm 84:10)
We Shall Not Want
In Jesus, we have everything we need and everything we could ever desire. He is our tender, goodhearted shepherd; under His care, we shall never want. (Psalm 23) We find food and water in His Word, sufficiency in His grace and rest in His love. No matter what we are experiencing, He is always more than enough.
