Peace is an amazing gift from God. Despite the many dangers, worries, stresses and things we cannot control in life, believers in Christ can be at peace. God is greater than anything we can imagine, reigning high above all of His creation. While limerence can threaten our very sanity, knowing how much the Lord cares for us helps us trust in Him. Then as we let go, we experience true and lasting peace.
Fruit Three: Peace
Following love and joy, the third part of the fruit of the Spirit is peace. In the context of Paul’s epistle to the Galatians, he refers specifically to living in peace with others. Rather than being divided by opposing opinions or other differences, we are united eternally as brothers and sisters in Christ. (Galatians 3:28)
Through the lens of limerence, this means choosing not to become envious or jealous when other people get the romantic relationship we want. It means being genuinely happy for them because they have been blessed by God in that way. This is painfully hard to do, but it is how we love others in His name. When we do this, He rewards us with peace in our relationships.
Peace of Mind and Heart
When I think of peace in the midst of limerence, I think primarily of peace of mind. Although this aspect of peace was not emphasized in Paul’s message to the Galatians, we can turn a few pages after that to his letter to the Philippians. This book includes invaluable advice on maintaining internal peace.
Philippians 4:6-7 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
With all the swirling thoughts and roller coaster emotions that plague a person in limerence, peace is rather elusive. It’s like a fight to survive every single day, because it is hard even to breathe without feeling like we have everything we need. Our perception in limerence is that our greatest need (which seems to us to be requited love) is continually unmet. In this situation, a calm and quiet existence couldn’t be farther from us.
Complete and Immovable
Philippians 4:19 – “And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
To believe that we are missing something we truly need is to hand an easy victory to the devil. While the attraction to our UTHCs is extremely strong, God’s calling is always stronger. The Holy Spirit fills us with peace as we realize that we DO have everything we need. He reminds us to preach to ourselves the truth in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Embodying this truth results in strength of mind that enables us to fight temptation to feed our misplaced attraction.
Lamentations 3:21-23 – “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Not only do we have peace of mind, but in our hearts we also step toward fortified faith in Christ. Fear takes hold when we do not trust that God has everything under control. However, remembering His provision for us in the past builds our faith in the present, and He gives us more reasons to trust Him every day. Strengthened faith, in turn, affords us greater peace, ensuring that we are steadfast and immovable no matter what happens in our lives. (1 Corinthians 15:58)
Peace That Transcends Surrounding Chaos
My heart was crushed almost beyond repair when rejection struck down my deepest hopes and dreams. I literally collapsed to the floor, the fabric of my life weakened like never before. Such heartbreaking experiences evoke the feeling of the world crashing down on or around a person. Long is the process of reaching a place of peace equivalent to that which was present before the event occurred.
John 2:19-21 – “Jesus answered them, ‘Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up. The Jews then said, ‘It has taken 46 years to build this temple, and will you raise it up in three days?’ But He was speaking about the temple of His body.”
Broken to Be Rebuilt in Christ
Limerence may break us down to sandlike pieces, but we have to remember that God has the power to rebuild far faster than we can! He may take away what we think would make us whole, but in truth He is the one who completes us and holds us together. (Colossians 1:17, 2:10) Only in Him can we have peace, and at that, peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7). The seeming chaos that characterizes our circumstances cannot steal our peace in Christ. We know He is good and that He does not seek to harm us, because He loves us. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Denying us requited affection, when it has become more desirable to us than He is, is an act of mercy. It is an invitation to depend on Him alone and choose peace in the knowledge that His grace is more than enough for us. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Whatever our struggles may be, including feeling incomplete without a certain special person, peace is possible. For God lovingly works all our experiences, the painful ones together with the blissful, to make us more like Him. (Romans 8:28-29)
Take Heart in His Presence
John 16:33 – “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world.”
From what I have seen, the secular limerence support community generally, inadvertently, looks to temporary solutions to overcome limerence. They seek distractions, various forms of therapy, or remembering the person’s faults to help them reach a point of stability. In their troubles, in their distress, they pursue any option other than following the one who provides the way out for good. They don’t understand that Jesus has already won the battle for them.
Peace in Each Stage of the Journey through Limerence
Let it not be so for us who call Jesus our Lord and Savior! He has rescued us from all of our sins and defeated death so we could have eternal life. How much more He can break us free from the shackles of limerence! Even at the start of the journey, we can hold onto peace. We know He is faithful to light and pave the way to tranquility. Soon enough we will reach the still waters and green pastures He offers us as our Good Shepherd. (Psalm 23)
In the midst of the journey, when the worst is over but temptation entices us in frequent moments of weakness, still we have peace. The Holy Spirit continues to sanctify us day by day, and we take heart in His ongoing work. We are far from perfect, but He makes us more like Jesus all the time. Every step of the way, we enjoy both peace in our own hearts and peace with others by living out godly love and joy in our relationships.
Then when we are finally free from limerence altogether, with what glorious rest such a life blesses us! Having survived the most tumultuous experience of our lives, we can praise God for the calm after the storm. We can thank Him for being with us and sustaining us, for hearing our prayers for help. And when troubled times come again in the future, we take heart knowing He has overcome the world, because He helps us overcome our lesser difficulty as well. We remember our peace is found in Him alone.
John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
