Joy is second in the list of qualities which Paul writes are present in the Fruit of the Spirit. As we learn to love God and love others in a biblical way, we experience great joy. Worshipping God wholeheartedly for who He is and the wonders He does brings joy like nothing else. In limerence the worship in our hearts is grossly misdirected to another who often leaves us deeply saddened. But bringing it back to Jesus leads to our joy being restored.
Adoration in Multiple Languages
I loved the one I called “my sweet beloved” with all my heart and soul. He was the first thing in my mind upon waking, throughout the busy day and as I went to sleep. Many things I learned in school and church about wholehearted devotion to Jesus, I applied to my affection for the boy I loved. Perseverance in difficulty, being courageous to act for what is true, loving another person sacrificially – such principles intensified my limerence. Sadly, the more I understood about the Lord and His kingdom, it seems, I devoted myself more to that boy.
In my opinion, although he thought of himself as not particularly special, he was amazing in both spirit and body. I could have written about the beauty of his eyes seemingly without end. In fact, you may be familiar with the well-known Christian song called “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever.” Well, I could have sung of his blue eyes forever.
Admiration Expressed More Fully
As I studied Spanish in my latter years of high school, I began to feel it wasn’t enough to write about him only in English. I wanted to write about him in Spanish too. I could more fully express my adoration for him if I could write it in another language. So, although I didn’t know enough Spanish to write a whole song about him, I looked up how to say certain things.
One particular phrase I chose to translate into Spanish, because it felt powerful in conveying my deep appreciation of his beauty. “Your blue eyes are the most beautiful I have ever seen.” In Spanish, this was translated by Google as, “Tus ojos azules eres más hermosas que he visto siempre.” My apologies to the Spanish-speaking community if this translation is not quite correct, but you understand what I am trying to say.
God Is Unfathomably Rare
Psalm 86:8-10 – “There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God.”
Of course, we all know my affections – or more pointedly, my worship – was not in the right place. I sang about my UTHC as being unfathomably rare, but there is no one like our God. The boy was amazing in my sight, but God’s wonders cannot be fully known by anyone.
1 Corinthians 2:9 – “But as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him.”
Sometimes “my sweet beloved” disappointed me and I intentionally overlooked his faults, but God never fails us. He has no faults for us to have to overlook or accept, because He is perfect in every way. (Psalm 18:30) If anyone should be worshipped, it is Jesus, and in worshipping Him our hearts are filled with inexpressible joy.
1 Peter 1:8 – “Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.”
Joy on Top of Love
Clearly, Paul was filled with wisdom from the Holy Spirit as he named each aspect of the Spirit’s fruit in order. Love, the most important part of the fruit, was named first. Building on this foundational quality, next is joy. This joy comes in two different ways, corresponding to love for God and love for others.
Drawn to Awe of God
While suffering from limerence we often feel joyless because our beloveds do not hold the same regard for us. They have become the objects of our worship and ruefully, it breaks our own hearts to give them that place. But when we consider God’s love for us, it draws us to admiration and awe.
In light of who He is and the great things He has done and continues to do, we fall to our knees in worship of Him. This fills us with joy because we know that, thanks to Jesus, we are in right relationship with our Heavenly Father. Whether we feel like we are in right relationship with our UTHCs or not, our joy in the Lord reigns.
Joy of Godly Friendship
Galatians 5:13 (NIV) – “Serve one another humbly in love.”
Secondly, we find joy in loving and serving others humbly. The key here is that our love must be manifested humbly. Love that demands to be served, like limerence demands reciprocated feelings, is bound to be unreturned. One-sided, unbiblical love like this cultivates joy in no one.
Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
With God’s strength at work within us, we can humble ourselves, letting go of our felt need for requited love. Then the ones we love are freed from the seemingly oppressive obsession we direct toward them. And of course, we ourselves are freed from the compulsiveness of the obsession. Instead, we are able to flourish together as fellow bearers of the image of God, basking in the joy of godly friendship.
Proverbs 27:9 (CSB) – “Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.”
Worship the Worthy One with Joy
Psalm 42:11 – “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.”
Psalm 51:12 – “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”
Maybe, like I did when I was in the height of my limerence, you struggle to make God first in your life. It is too hard to see past your ungranted desires to the goodness of God’s plan. The weight of living with constant sadness and uncertainty that you will ever be okay or feel normal again seems bigger than God’s presence with you. You know that God is praiseworthy even in the midst of difficulty. Still, gathering the strength to forsake others feels like too much to ask.
Remain Close to the Only Worthy One
The truth is that God is bigger than any of our emotions, and only He can help us out of that pervasive sadness. When we fall to our knees in desperation, He lifts us up and carries us along the way He wants us to go. If we remain close to Him, He gradually restores our joy because He transforms our hearts to worship Him alone. (Romans 12:1-2)
This is wonderful in and of itself, but the awesomeness is magnified because of His immeasurable glory. He is the worthy one, the only worthy one, yet He condescends to be near to us, calling us friends. (John 15:15)
Joy in Trusting, Following and Giving God Glory
So worship Him with joy! Worship Him with your whole heart and soul, in every heart language. Whether it is English, Spanish, French, German, Russian, Arabic, Hindi, African, or one of the many other languages spoken in the world, use it to express how amazing He is. Beautiful is the sound of a congregation worshipping the Lord in multiple languages at the same time.
Lift your eyes to our glorious God and let your praise be to Him alone. He is our Savior, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). Trusting, following and giving glory to Him, you will be filled with joy to overflowing.
John 15:11 – “These things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”
