Colors of Love: Blue in Loneliness and Loyalty

Blue is and always has been my favorite color. I am very much not alone in this, as noted in these survey results. Why I love blue is beyond the scope of this post, but it is considered to be a calming color. In this post we will examine blue as symbolic of loneliness and loyalty.

A Lonely Heart

There is a song by Leann Rimes that was very popular when I was a kid. “Blue…” she sang, “Oh, so lonesome for you. Why can’t you be blue over me?” Even then, when I was only 8 or 9 years old, I could relate to those lyrics. My best friend, who was the love of my life, naturally did not feel the same way at so young of an age. So I held back my true feelings as much as I could, longing desperately to hug him and kiss him. My loneliness increased nearly by the day.

By the second half of 2007, two replacements for him later, I was reeling from despair and loneliness. December of that year was especially difficult as I sought the company of any guy I thought might have a romantic interest in me. One of my coworkers, for example, mentioned he had just gotten out of a 3-year relationship and wasn’t ready to move on. Nonetheless, I pressed him, because I wanted to “ring in the new year” with someone – with anyone. Ultimately, he stopped responding to me and we never conversed again.

After that, I broke down and I wrote a song called “Blue Hearts Fall Apart.” The last lines of the chorus are, “When you put your heart out there, you better be aware of what is sure to come. Because blue hearts fall apart when they cannot find the one.”

A Moment of Truth

Only a week and a half after writing that song, I traveled to winter camp with my church youth group. I was trying to start the new year with new hope and was having a genuinely good time at the camp. Still, I needed to withdraw and do some journaling while I was in such an emotionally raw state.

One of the leaders came to check on me and I let her know I just wanted a little alone time to write. She left accordingly, but I do appreciate her taking a moment to make sure I was okay. Little moments like that sometimes are all we need to know that we are not alone. Of course, I was not ready to tell her my life story, and sadly I don’t even remember her name with certainty. But even now, 15 years later, I remember her role in that brief moment of my life. She cared enough to come after me, even though I had not done or said anything at camp to merit concern.

We Are Never Alone

Just like my youth group leader left the group to ask how I was doing, Jesus comes after us. As our Good Shepherd, He leaves His larger flock to search for the one who has wandered away. (See John 10:14-15 and Matthew 18:10-14.) In our darkest, most difficult moments, we feel lost and helpless, much like sheep who have strayed from their shepherd.

Jesus will find us in our hiding places and tell us it is safe because HE is our hiding place. (Psalm 32:7) He will offer His hand and lead us to a place of peace and rest (Psalm 23). And we don’t have to look back except to praise Him for saving us from such great misery and suffering. He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

In other words, we are never alone! As much as we hear this phrase, let us never let it lose its power and significance. Someone always cares and wants to help us – friends, family and even kind strangers. But most of all, even if no one else is there for you, Jesus is always available. He is ready and mighty to save, to help all who call on His name. (John 1:12, Romans 10:13)

Devotion Despite the Odds

Loyalty is the second theme I would like to cover as associated with the color blue. The phrase “true blue” is often used to describe someone who is dependable and a good friend even through hardship. I also think of the U.S. Navy with their navy blue uniforms and their core values of honor and commitment.

In limerence, my loyalty to the object of my affection was persistent and irrational. It was unconditional devotion despite the odds of reciprocation – and those odds seemed to be decreasing by the day. I was resolute that I would love him forever, no matter what. The lower the likelihood of finally having his love in return, the deeper my passion for him grew.

Waters of Love

Probably inspired by imagery in the Bible, I wrote that my love for him was like waters pouring toward him. I suppose it was more like a deluge than a quiet creek, but those waters were for him. All I wanted was for him to take his prize, my heart. “As if my words were not enough, I’d like to reward you,” I sang. “Don’t deny me the thrill of looking in your eyes.”

His eyes, as you might have known, are the color blue. The light of the sun shining into them could literally stop me in my tracks, they were so beautiful to me. I wanted to learn more Spanish so I could write songs about them and other things I loved about him in another language.

I also imagined my love surrounding him like the deep waters of the ocean. Gentle waves of affection, I thought, would lap at him and keep him afloat if he started to sink. If he were never to feel the same way toward me, an ocean of tears would then fall from my eyes. Sadly, an ocean of tears it was.

Rooted in God’s Love

Blessed be God, who was there to catch my tears. He lifted me out of that ocean of tears, in which I would have otherwise drowned. He reminded me of His own unconditional, infinite love. Ephesians 3:17-19 tells us, “That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

I cried until my eyes and my heart were empty. But because God had rooted me in His love, I was strengthened and began to be filled again. Like Hebrews 6:19 says, hope in Him was “a sure and steadfast anchor” for my soul. My passion for Him grows such that I want to learn more languages to share His love in new ways.

Great Faithfulness of God

In a final word of encouragement, I want to emphasize God’s faithfulness. No loyalty of ours, even in the magnet-like intensity of limerence, can match the faithfulness of our Lord. Here are some verses that remind us how good, loving, merciful, just, kind and loyal He is to us.

Psalm 71:22-23 – “I will praise you for your faithfulness. My lips will shout for joy, my soul also, which you have redeemed.”

Romans 5:7-8 – “Perhaps for a good person one would dare to die. But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Lamentations 3:22-23 – “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Psalm 36:5 – “Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.”

In response to His faithfulness toward us, let us ask Him to help us live by faith in Him. We feel waves of grief, or an addictive pull toward that one we can’t let go, even years later. But the God whose boundless love never fails is with us, leading or carrying us every step of the way.

Dear Lord, we echo the psalmist’s words, “I will praise you for your faithfulness.” Our capacity for love can never compare with yours in that you died for us while we were still sinners. You are a friend that is loyal like no other, both in good times and in hard times. Help us walk by faith and know your love, that we may be filled with all the fullness of God. Amen!

This post is part of the 2023 Colors of Love series. Other posts in the series cover orange, red, gray, white, black, purple, green and yellow.