Colors of Love: White in Innocence

White is considered the fullness of all colors. Growing up, I could not understand why, because I saw white as having no color at all. To me it was like a blank, white slate waiting for color to be added.

It wasn’t until high school that I learned white light contains all the colors. Similarly, a computer screen uses 256-bit color in red, green and blue scales where a 255 in each makes white. How this is possible physically I still don’t necessarily understand fully (I did not study optics in depth). To me, it seems like something I should ask God to explain when He takes me home to Heaven. Nonetheless, I love seeing the rainbow that results from sunlight (white at its source) being refracted through the crystals in my chandelier.

Symbolism of White

The color white symbolizes innocence and purity. A white wedding dress is worn to signify the purity of a bride as she walks down the aisle to her groom. Young people’s lives can be seen as white sheets of paper whose stories are yet to be written. Their hearts may be unmarked by tragedy or deep suffering.

This post will focus on white as associated with the innocence of young love and new limerence. Then we will look at Jesus, the most innocent man who ever lived, and how He purifies us.

Innocence and Naivete

I realize that for many, this is not true for their experience, but my limerence took place during my teenage years. This period of life is a time of innocence in the sense of immaturity and naivete.

At 15 years old, I declared in a handwritten note my undying love for my Bible teacher’s son. I wrote that I would love him always, regardless of how he felt toward me. She wrote back essentially telling me I had my whole life ahead of me. That I was too young to wish my life away or resign myself indefinitely to unrequited love. My life, in other words, was like a book full of white pages whose story was not yet written.

I was not naïve in the declarations I made to my teacher, because I knew my heart’s capacity for love. But I was naïve in not understanding earlier when to hold back from sharing my feelings. It’s sad, honestly, because we should not have to hold back our deepest desires.

Blessed be our Lord, though – Jesus always welcomes us to pour out our hearts to Him. There is no need to hold back because He cares deeply for us, no matter what others may or may not feel toward us. (1 Peter 5:7)

In addition, God graciously maintained my innocence by not allowing me to have a boyfriend until the latter years of high school. I longed to be in a romantic relationship much earlier, but happily, instead He gave me a more solid foundation of His Word. (Isaiah 33:6) This helped me remain committed to purity with the intention of one day wearing that white wedding dress.

Clean Slate

In the spirit of full disclosure, I broke down as I remembered those conversations with my limerence object’s mother. The words “white hot” came to mind as apt descriptors of my feelings for her son.

A few days before I drafted that part of this post, I attended a Learning About Trauma / Trauma Healing workshop at my church. I realized I still sometimes relive portions of my experience and so my healing process is not yet complete. The combination of the workshop being fresh in my mind and the fact that I hadn’t thought in such detail about the notes between my teacher and me caused an overflow of emotion.

It was difficult to focus on my work the following morning. However, it was a blessing to recognize God as my anchor in the swirl of thoughts that resulted from the breakdown. I think of it as a necessary step forward toward fuller healing. He is using that experience to cleanse me, make my slate white, so to speak, as I finally share my experience more openly.

White As Snow

On the other side of “white hot” is anger, as in the wrath of God. Because of our waywardness, Jesus has every right to unleash His wrath in full on us. Yet He chose not to do that. On the contrary – He lavished His love on us. (Romans 5:8)

It is amazing that God chose to hold back His wrath from us. At the same time, He shared everything with us out of His love and grace. By the blood of His beloved Son Jesus, He made us white as snow. We are pure in His eyes because He sees the perfect Lamb instead of our heart’s darkness. He has made us righteous and innocent in the bright, white Light of the World. (Romans 5:1, John 8:12)

In this light, let us turn to Him in wholehearted thankfulness. He truly is our anchor in the chaos of racing thoughts. In the overflow of emotion during a breakdown, breakthrough or epiphany, He is ready to listen to our cries. When we feel inadequate or unloved, He will embrace us with His strong and loving arms. He cleanses us, purifies us, makes us white, and only He can do that. All the praise to Him alone.

This post is part of the 2023 Colors of Love series. Other posts in the series cover orange, red, gray, black, purple, green, blue and yellow.